Oct 4, 2013
there's always something
We have gotten off to somewhat of a slow start to harvest this season and I've noticed it has weighed on my husband some. We've had some rain. The combine is not calibrating the way it should and they're still having issues with the corn dryer. My husband was unable to get a hold of the repair man for the dryer and my father in law was held up a few evenings out of town this week while trucking for his day job.
I took dinner out to the field the other night and checked to see if my help was needed. My husband was pretty quiet and didn't say much as he ate the food I brought him. You could tell his mind was going a million directions. When he's really quiet on the farm it usually means he's thinking about something, what he needs to do next or he's missing his grandpa.
We sat in silence for several minutes until he finally spoke up.
"There's always something......." he slowly said, shaking his head.
"That's what my grandpa told me one day. There's always going to be something."
He thought for a while and continued slowly.
"My grandpa wasn't a man who cussed; but when he did, it was always followed by the words there's always something." He half chuckled and cracked a smile as he said this.
By this time, his eyes were getting glossy but he didn't drop a single tear.
Struggling to find something encouraging to say I blurted out "This is what you love."
"I know," he said, looking straight at me as he nodded his head.
He took a deep breath and thanked me for dinner with a half smile as he jumped off the the tail gate of my truck. You could hear the remains of corn stalks rustling under his feet as he walked the path back towards the old 1480 red combine.
Sometimes it's really hard to find the right words to say. I think one of the hardest things about being a farmer's wife or any wife in general is when you feel like you've failed in finding words of encouragement when things aren't going smoothly.
It's hard to cope with being down in the dumps but it's even harder to cope when someone you love is feeling that way. When you love someone so much, you want them to be on top of the world. All the time. You heart hurts when they hurt.
I can't make a new grain dryer or new grain bins fall out of the sky. I most certainly can't show up in a brand new combine. Well, I could if I just signed my name but..... I like to sleep at night. And I definitely can't control the weather. My husband wouldn't want any of those things handed to him anyways. The only thing I can do is to keep pushing and encouraging him to continue working hard and hopefully someday it will pay off.
We've started off with old equipment but with love and care, it's treated us well. It's given us character. No one ever learned how to fix something that was brand new anyways. Oh the things he has learned how to fix these last few years. My husband waxes his combine as if it were sparkling and brand new. Not 30 years old. I love him for that.
It hasn't always been easy for him, but I know that someday, he is going to be one hell of a farmer. If he isn't already. I sometimes envy his desire, passion and knowing what he wants in life. He knows what he wants; it's just a matter of getting there. He has a plan and he's sticking to it. Most would have given up by now. Not him. Most would have hated farming with old machinery. Not him. He's just happy to be farming. I often times have to roll my eyes when I hear someone complain that their auto steer, radio, A/C or heated seats aren't working properly in their machine. Sure you spend 400 grand on something and you want it to work, I understand. We aren't the jealous type nor ones to say "it must be nice" (oh how I absolutely LOATHE that phrase - please promise me you'll never use it) but if you're going to complain about something, complain about something worth while.. like an engine that might need overhauled. That can happen with brand new combine with only a 100 hours on it, too. I've seen it with my own eyes.
It's so much easier for people to give up then it is to move forward. By moving forward, you're facing your struggles, your mistakes and the challenges ahead. By giving up, you can avoid the struggles, mistakes and challenges. I often find myself getting excited about a new hobby, challenge or en-devour only to find myself giving up the moment I lose touch with perfection. However, when my husband is involved and encourages me to keep going, it seems like I often continue moving forward. Without him, I wouldn't have grown this blog or designed our beautiful house from scratch. There were so many times that I wanted to give up on both but he wouldn't let me .
I'd like to think that I'm one of the reasons he continues to farm; aside from it being his dream and his promise to his grandpa.
Sometimes you just need those people in your life that lift you up and push you forward. You need friends and family that want you to succeed. That want you to be happy. You can't have those that make fun of you for starting off small. You have to have that encouragement in order to succeed. Not everything is always going to go perfectly as planned. Even the most successful people in the world still have their bad days.
There's always something. No matter who you are or what you do.