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May 22, 2014

Not a City Girl: Part 2


I had another meeting down in the big city today.

I don't get to leave the house often so it's very exciting and refreshing.

But also way out of my element as I've shared before.

I packed and set everything out that I needed last night and turned my alarm back way earlier than usual. A colleague and I had plans to meet an hour before our meeting.

After I got around, I decided if I skipped my daily Keurig date, I would make decent time. After throwing on some shoes and a coat, I hop in the car, crank up Katy Perry's "Roar" and begin zooming off into the sunrise.

Feeling like a gal ready to conquer the world I belt out, "You're gonna hear me rooooarrrrr oar oar oar oar oar!!!!"

I'm bobbing along, the song stops. All is quiet.

Then I hear..... "Meeewwwwwwwwwww"

"Meew Mew"

I'm thinking, "What the heck?" I turn around and our garage/farmshop cat is perched on the center console in the back seat staring at me with those beady, loving eyes.

"Mew, meewwwww."

Oh. Brother.

I didn't think the city would be ready for a barn cat so I whipped 'er back around and took Miss Blazer back home.

Departure, take two.

I'm cruising along, making good time so I decide that I have a dire need for coffee NOW. You know that saying about a Starbucks on every corner? Well, that doesn't apply  to the almost two hour drive into the city. You know, when you actually need coffee.There's not even a McDonald's on every corner. There are exactly 3 McDonald's on the way and possibly the same amount of gas stations.

I decide, McDonald's it is.



I pull in and there are two drive thru lanes. I wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was for utilizing these lanes so I just pick one.

Pulling up to the menu, I hear in a loud boisterous voice, "HELLO.WOULDYOULIKETOTRYTHEMCWHITE?"

I politely ask, "The McWHAT?"

"Order when you're ready."

Baffled, I ask for a coffee with cream and sugar.

"How many?"

"How many what?"

"Cream and sugar, m'am."

Assuming they are going by packets I say, "One of each."

"Blah blah blah blah the second window blah blah."

As I begin pull up towards the window, a lady in a white SUV starts pulling up as well and we almost crash into each other. She lays on the horn. I'm all confused because I was done ordering first. Doesn't she realize that if she goes ahead of me, she's going to get my coffee?

I stand my ground and continue pulling forward.

The window opens and a rather large, well, very large woman pops the doors open and my coffee comes shooting out. She's sweating profusely. And I mean PROFUSELY. I watch as a few sweat droplets just barely miss my coffee cup. I force a smile and tell her thank you.

And away I go! Coffee in hand and we're zooming to the big city.

I approach construction and begin the detour and my GPS instantly starts going crazy.

"WHEN POSSIBLE, MAKE AN ILLEGAL U-TURN."

"Shut up!! I know!!"

Does anyone else talk to their GPS systems?

All is going well and I think I'm on the right track then I start approaching round abouts. Much like the double lane at McDonald's, I am still trying to figure out the whole etiquette behind roundabouts.

I pretty much just pull up really slowly, drive in. Break. Drive. Read road sign. Break. Drive. Read road sign. Break. Drive. Cars are honking.

"WHAT?! I am yielding!! It says to yield!!"

Repeat this whole episode times 8 and I'm finally at my destination. I pull into the spot right next to the curb.

I have a great time at the meeting/workshop and venture back out to my car.

As I'm pulling out, my back tire somehow hops onto the curb and I hear, "KAJOINK!"

OOPS. I did it again.

To be continued...... 


5 comments:

  1. You are hilarious! I grew up in a small town only 20 minutes outside of Edmonton (Alberta) so I like being very close to the city, but not right inside. Honestly it would be very hard for me if our farm was up in the sticks or out in the boonies. Our nearest town, where I also work, is a 25 minute drive, population of >10 000 and it has Walmart, Starbucks, McDonald's etc...and it's getting more and more retail. Continue on another 1/2 hour and we're in Calgary, a major city centre. It's about perfect!

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  2. I love this! I grew up 30 minutes away from the nearest small town so prefer to be out in the sticks as well! Even when I went to college I had a hard time living in the oh so huge town (or not!) of Laramie, Wyoming and when I had to move again for Grad School I chose to have a 30 minute commute into town so I could live in the country instead of suffocating in the city. Unfortunately, I also have the "drive like a jerk" gene when I get into cities though...adapt or die, I think!

    The good news is that you can always remind yourself of all the silly things that the city folk would do if they ever came out your way. Like rubber-necking to look at Bambi and getting lost on back roads.

    At least you get to go back to the country at the end of it all. It doesn't get any better than that :)

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    1. Thanks, Mandy!

      You always hear about city people venturing out into the country, talking about how different it is... well it's definitely the same for us who live in the country and venture into the city! It's definitely two different worlds. I love being able to come back home to the country, that's for sure! We really are very lucky. :)

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  3. I've switched to using the Maps app on my iPhone, but yes... I talk, sometimes yell, at her! :) I love the fact that the cat was in the car!!! She's adorable. Was she the one who was being nursed back to help a couple months ago?

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  4. I love these posts, I'm laughing so hard! (Not at you -- with you, because I always end up in these situations). Just this weekend we were driving through the city on our way home from a farm, and I about had a panic attack. There are just too many signs to read, too many people, and it gets downright confusing.

    And how cute about the kitty! Haha, she must have wanted a glance at the big city ;)

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